“Take four times a day on an empty stomach”

… were the instructions on my packet of antibiotics (I told you I was ill). Now apparently an empty stomach means two hours after food and one hour before any other food. So that’s a three hour gap, times by four means 12 hours of hungry. If we assume that I get 8 hours of sleep that’s four hours of eating window. Do you know what that means?

NO SNACKS! I am medically advised to not have any snacks! For a week! It also means that if I’m hungry I have to take a tablet and then sit and THINK about the food I could be eating for a whole hour. Now technically yes I could not eat all day then use my four hours up in one go and go to an all you can eat Chinese for those four hours but that would be ridiculous.  Plus side- going for  a night out in Birmingham tomorrow (not sure why but okay) and these antibiotics are okay to drink on wooo! Also no snacking will probably help the Great Christmas Flab Off (a competition set up by the Cankled Matriarch to see who can lose the most weight by Christmas).

So to distract myself here is a quiz I found on the internet about me which I have filled out for your perusal Dear Reader

First of all here are the answers I gave in 2009 (copied off my facebook)

1 – Have you ever been asked out? yerp,like…once

2 – Where was your default picture taken? my kitchen after a few too many 😉

3 – What’s your middle name? Ruth

4 – Your current relationship status? single as a pringle (which i really dont get coz pringles come in tubs of god knows how many :P)

5 – Does your crush like you back? not too sure anymore, doubt it somehow 😛

6 – What is your current mood? ok

7 – What color underwear are you wearing? black and silver

8 – What color shirt are you wearing? white

9 – Missing something? last year…when schoolwork didint matter 😛

10 – If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do? a hell of a lot

11 – If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? a tigerrrr (not a crab *looks at sarah :P*)

12 – Ever had a near death experience? once yeah, almost got run over

13 – Something you do all the time? daydream

14 – The song stuck in your head now? Zadok The Priest…*dies* (damn choir)

15 – Who did you copy and paste this from? saraaaaaah

16 – Name someone with the same birthday as you? Alix, Beth

17 – When was the last time you cried? yesterday

18 – Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? a few timesss

19 – If you could have one super power what would it be? super speed 😛

20 – What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? clothes (especially shoes) and then humour

21 – What do you usually order from Starbucks? mango & passionfruit smoothie without fail 😛

22 – What’s your biggest secret? i dont seem to have secrets…

23 – Favorite color? blueeee

24 – Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows? hell yehh with bec

25 – What’s on your walls? mirrors

26 – What are you? …a girl…human…alive…stating the obvious much?

27 – Do you speak any other language? bit o’ german

28 – What’s your favorite smell? miss dior cherie…love itttt

29 – Describe your life in one word.random

30 – Have you ever kissed in the rain? yup…well it was more drizzle than rain (yeah i know…loses the effect now :P)

31 – What are you thinking about right now? how weird my brother is…(hes dancing round me :P)

33 – What should you be doing? ict coursework *dies*

34 – Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? my dad

35 – How often do you talk to God? now and again

36 – Do you like working in the yard? uuuh…no

37 – If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? i love my last name…and my first name…flows nicely 😛

38 – Do you act differently around a person you have a crush on? yeah…just ask ruth…she freakin studies me….cos shes weeeeird

39 – What is your natural hair color? brunette

Okay Cringe, here is now

1 – Have you ever been asked out? Yess

2 – Where was your default picture taken? In my garden before yr13 leavers ball

3 – What’s your middle name? Ruth

4 – Your current relationship status? Taken

5 – Does your crush like you back? I assume so… he’s here often enough

6 – What is your current mood? HANGRY

7 – What color underwear are you wearing? Blue and white

8 – What color shirt are you wearing? black

9 – Missing something? My Friends 😦

10 – If you could go back in time and change something, what would you do? Not dye my hair orange…

11 – If you must be an animal for one day, what would you be? I think maybe a bird so I could shit on people I hate.

12 – Ever had a near death experience? HAHA have you tried to cross a road in Bath?! every day I survive is an achievement

13 – Something you do all the time? Eat.

14 – The song stuck in your head now? Sorry by Justin Bieber (I am not proud)

15 – Who did you copy and paste this from? My facebook

16 – Name someone with the same birthday as you? Johnny Knoxville (cool, huh?)

17 – When was the last time you cried? Monday because I’m ill 😦

18 – Have you ever sung in front of a large audience? yeah

19 – If you could have one super power what would it be? Mind Reading

20 – What’s the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Still the shoes, oh and lips, I find pouty lips a massive turn off.

21 – What do you usually order from Starbucks? mango & passionfruit smoothie without fail 😛 (I didn’t even need to change this)

22 – What’s your biggest secret? One time I dipped someones toothbrush in the loo after they annoyed me. I will never reveal whose

23 – Favorite color? blue

24 – Do you still watch kiddie shows or tv shows? …nooo…

25 – What’s on your walls? still halloween decorations!

26 – What are you? I AM WHAT I AM!

27 – Do you speak any other language?Hardly.

28 – What’s your favorite smell? Center Parcs, like the smell of the pool when you go outside combined with the smell of the pine air and the alcohol on your breath…it’s just so nostalgic.

29 – Describe your life in one word. Funny

30 – Have you ever kissed in the rain? Hahaha and then some

31 – What are you thinking about right now?  the fact that I have work in 35 mins and I’m still in bed #swag

33 – What should you be doing? getting ready for work…

34 – Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? Johnny

35 – How often do you talk to God? rarely

36 – Do you like working in the yard? no.

37 – If you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? Gatehouse, I don’t really want to change it

38 – Do you act differently around a person you have a crush on? haha yes it’s so obvious! I go all squeaky!

39 – What is your natural hair color? brunette

 

So yeah that was me 🙂

So our oven is broken… Also a tribute to potatoes.

So last week, midway through cooking some healthy cheesy potatoes dauphenoise (is that how you spell it? maybe…) complete with extra cream and extra cheese for extra health, our oven in the flat just turned off. Potentially a sign from the gods that I shouldn’t be eating potato based cheesy goods? Admittedly yes I shouldn’t but potatoes, cheese and cream are like the holy trinity of things that are good in the world. But anyway yes the oven is broken and wont be fixed until next weekend at the EARLIEST! (Downside of living with your landlord, I have to be nice and accommodating and lovely at all times for fear of being evicted “yes two weeks without a hot meal is fine, in this cold cold November what I really wanted was a refreshing salad for dinner…every night”).

Okay, it’s not quite that bad because the hob still works so I can just fry everything I want to eat (potato circles?). Or boil it (potatoes?) or indeed use my microwave (micro chips…made of potatoes). Can we just take a minute here to appreciate potatoes and how great they are? You can roast them- well I can’t because my oven is dead, you can bake them (again, not me), you can boil them, mash them, cut them up and fry them, make chips, make crisps if you can be arsed which frankly I can’t, MAKE VODKA (again, effort), you can even make bread with them and make paint stamps for arty patterns- seriously did anyone do this in school because it was great! The possibilities with a potato know no bounds! And don’t even get me started on sweet potatoes…you can make brownies out of them! And here’s a fun fact- they’re not actually that bad for you! YES! POTATO LOVERS UNITE AND REJOICE! A medium potato is basically fat free and only has 161 calories in it, okay yes its got 37g of carbs in it but they’re complex carbs (I don’t really understand that term but I think it means carbs that you don’t need to berate yourself for eating! woo!) and it has hella vitamins and minerals! Obviously it all depends on how you cook them but this website www.potatogoodness.com/ has all the potato knowledge you’ll ever need to impress your friends and co-workers!

Potato Lovers Unite!

Okay so a bit of a tangent but I thought it was important to share that, however I now realise that today I’ve written more words about potatoes than I have on my dissertation topic…which in case you were wondering is about different perceptions of men and women in marketing campaigns, so like do people respond better to aspirational images of their gender (like athletic people used to advertise running shoes), or something they can relate to because it uses more “normal” people (for example the Dove real beauty campaign?) If anyone fancies throwing their two cents in on this idea then please do, I need all the opinions I can get!

Right, I should probably get back to writing that… but not until after I’ve had a packet of crisps to curb my potato craving!

In Blog We Trust

I must confess I haven’t been the most dedicated blogger recently, and for that Dear Reader I ask your forgiveness. After all with only 45 days until Christmas could it be in the spirit of goodwill to all men that you give me a second chance?

Speaking of spirits I have some good news to share, having just completed Sober October I have managed to raise £410 for Macmillan Cancer Care and have managed to lose a whopping 11 of my own (pounds of flab that is, not money)! Mind you some of this may be down to the fact that I’ve been ill with a chest infection so haven’t been stuffing my face quite as much. There’s always something so bittersweet about having the lurgy, I find myself lying in bed thinking well my throat is killing me and these bodily fluids are a questionable colour but I’m probably losing a few pounds!

So my new found waistline and I took ourselves to the shops to buy a dress for the much anticipated Cankled-Matriarch’s (that’s mother dearest to those of you who’ve forgotten) Christmas Party. I don’t use the term much anticipated lightly Dear Reader, this party always presents some sort of fun- be it the time my Grandmother poured her drink all over my Grandad every time she turned the page in her carol book, or the time one of my friends was passed out drunkenly upstairs only to be visited by one of our teachers at the time who had come upstairs to try on hats, or indeed the time a poor drunken soul poured his heart out about his unrequited love to an unsuspecting guest only to find out the guest was the girl in question’s mother! Although I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite as hysterical as my own Father crawl into the dogs bed with the dog, Jack, and pretend the dog was singing Mack The Knife but, because my dad is the king of wit, he sang Jack The Knife. But yes! Back to the dress, I don’t have a photo of it because when I tried it on it looked good but not great- a pretty expensive incentive to lose weight- so there’s still work to be done over the next 40 days, and all whilst going to two other Christmas parties!

In an attempt to help myself along I have once again purchased a gym membership (deja vu, anyone?), and thus far have gone once. For my induction. Personally I’m quite impressed I even turned up for that, perhaps I’ll go back once my chest has cleared, perhaps not. As well as this, and believe me I’m not proud of this, I have started calorie counting. I used to mock calorie counters, a friend once asked me how many calories are in a creme egg and frankly if you’re that concerned about your figure (not that she needed to be) then you shouldn’t be eating creme eggs in the first place. But hell, even if it isn’t making the slightest bit of difference at least I have all my scribbles to prove I tried! And if all else fails there’s always Spanx!